I was a little perplexed. It’s 2023, and Ghanaian Christendom seemed to be in a state of confusion about a subject that I considered a settled matter from my days as a child growing up in a Pentecostal church. It became the talk of town when the mistress of a banker (who was a leader in his church) sued him for breaching his promises to rent a house for her, pay for her upkeep and car and divorce his wife. Somehow this triggered a conversation about polygamy, especially amongst men on WhatsApp and other social media. The conclusion – even amongst many Christians on social media – seemed to be that monogamy was European culture imposed on Ghanaians, and that there really wasn’t anything wrong with it.
Then this week, a new video purporting to come from a sermon (or sermons) by popular Ghanaian preacher Dag Heward-Mills also seemed to suggest that polygamy was kosher for Christians, seeing us all the “heroes” of the Christian faith seemed to have had multiple wives and the bible didn’t explicitly condemn it. As usual, his disciples jumped to his defense, some claiming the video was doctored, and others claiming that he’d said nothing wrong.
But for me it reminded me of a trend that has been going on in Ghanaian Christendom for a while now – a trend led by both critics of Christianity, and charlatan pastors. On one end of the spectrum, the former – composed mainly of atheists and agnostics who doubt Christianity anyway and feel stifled by the attempts of Ghanaian Christians to force their beliefs on them. Their reaction to that unfortunate oppressive behaviour Christian cultural warriors is to simply say whatever subject is under discussion is simply colonial mentality or “European culture” imposed on us Africans. On the other end, the latter – represented by the likes of Christian Kwebena Andrews (popularly known as Kyir Abosom in Ghana) – teach this simply because they have lost any link to Christian orthodoxy and are only using the Bible to build their personal empires in a nation of the desperately poor.
And then there are the many befuddled ones in the middle. It was for these that I was most concerned, because their confusion was a symptom of a serious problem that continues to plague Ghanaian Christianity even while it claims to be growing in “numbers”. And the problem is that majority of our churches were simply not teaching Christianity – they are just teaching “Ghanaianity”. But before I go on to explain what I mean by that term, let me state this clearly for the record – Christianity has always advocated monogamy. Monogamy is not a “European” cultural imposition on Ghanaians. It is central to the Christian teaching about human flourishing and sexuality. While social media will like you to think this is a “debate”, there’s really no debate at all. It’s all a storm in a teacup. The church of Jesus is 2000 years old, and neither your favourite General Overseer or garden variety intellectual can make this into a “debate”.
And here is why, in simple terms.
What Did Jesus Teach?
As with everything Christian, we must start not from Moses, or David, but Jesus. When he was asked about divorce in Matt 19:1-12, Jesus responded that divorce wasn’t God’s plan for creation. Drawing from Adam and Eve in the Genesis creation narrative, he pointed out that the man and woman became “one flesh”, and are therefore inseparable. He explained that Moses gave them the right to divorce because of the “hardness of their hearts” (v8). This surprised his audience, as they thought his teaching was “too hard”. Jesus doubles down by saying that his teaching was indeed hard, and only those who are predisposed to hear it will hear it. He points out that some will have to be “eunuchs” for the sake of the kingdom. In Jesus’ mind, his kingdom was more important than marriage.
He takes it from another angle when asked a question by the Pharisees in Luke 20:27-39. When asked about marriage and how it affects the eternal state of man, he dictates that marriage was a convenience only “for this age”, and not for the age of resurrection. In so doing, he points again to his future kingdom, when the “burden” of marriage will no longer exist. And let’s not be fooled – the kingdom now and future was the crux of Jesus’ life and message – and this kingdom would only be entered by obedience to him, the king of that kingdom.
What Did Paul Teach?
It is this notion that marriage is a useful but limited “burden” which we bear on this earth which is why Paul the apostle encouraged others to be single like him. What many don’t realize about Paul is that he simply tended to expand and expound on what Jesus taught, and he did a good job of that being a trained Pharisee. But he wasn’t crafting a new religion – he was simply being faithful to his king – Jesus the Messiah.
Some speculate that he might have been married before and divorced, hence his flippant attitude towards marriage. Others, represented by the likes of Dag Hewards-Mills seem to be saying in not so fine words that Paul “must have been talking out of his arse” (excuse my French). But such sloppy thinking and teaching is simply because as is the usual practice in Ghanaian Christendom and beyond, we don’t pay attention to what Jesus himself taught. Paul became “a eunuch for the sake of the kingdom” (Mt 19:11-12), and enjoined the young men and women of Corinth in 1 Cor 7 to “be as I am” (v7).
In expounding his position further, he makes a striking point which is exactly in line with what Jesus said about marriage himself.
“ I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” (1 Cor 7:32-35)
Paul points out that earthly marriage is a “burden” that can lead to divided devotion to King Jesus. Hence his encouragement to everyone in the church – not just to any special class – that they either choose to be single, or stay faithful to their partner. By implication, the more the partners, the more the distraction and divided loyalty.
It is this, and much more guidance from other passages in the New Testament that led the church to mandate monogamy, starting from leaders and going further to everyone else. And trust me, the world in which Paul wrote this letter was a world in which all forms of polyamory thrived and were culturally accepted. But the early church stuck to its guns on this matter, and many in the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches even mandate celibacy for their priests.
The matter of marriage then is not a matter of “what you like” or “what you can afford”, but a matter of devotion to your King and his kingdom. It wasn’t a matter of Greco-Roman or Jewish culture, it was a matter of obedience to Jesus.
Does that mean that the church didn’t meet situations where it had to navigate around polygamous relationships? Did everybody in the early church all of a sudden divorce their 2nd or 3rd wives because of Paul’s teaching? No, history tells us this was not the case. But monogamy was the standard, and everybody was urged in that direction. If a follower of Jesus was already in a polygamous marriage before they became a disciple, they knew very well that they were in an uncomfortable state, even if exceptions were made for them. But there was never a question of whether polygamy was accepted in early Christianity or not. That was a non-starter.
European/Colonial culture?
Because of the expansion of the church into Europe, the church took this mandate everywhere it spread, and soon (by fair means or foul), Europe was fully Christianized. It is this Christianization that made monogamy become a legal requirement. In some cases even cousin marriage was discouraged by the church.
We are well aware that unfortunately Christian religion came to Ghana dressed in European cultural garb, hence its sometimes difficult to distinguish between the two. It is therefore incumbent on Ghanaian Christendom and its leaders to help its members discern between what is European culture, and what is directly from the mouth of Jesus and his early apostles and implemented by the New Testament and early church. It is incumbent on our “clergy” to show us that they really are “contending for the faith that was handed to us” (Jude 1:3) by doing the diligent work that is expected of them.
At least our colonial masters respected our African cultures by making room for “marriage by ordinance” – which is really just legislating Christian monogamy, and “customary marriage”, which allows for multiple wives to a man. As is usual with patriarchy (and for the defenders of “African culture”), proponents of polygamy have not had the courage to ask themselves what the laws should be for a woman wanting to marry many men. But I digress.
Why is this important?
Because Ghanaian Christianity has been under attack on 2 fronts for a long time, and our churches need to wake up from their slumber and take their commission seriously, assuming they still actually care.
The more recent threat is secularism/scientism (not science – there’s a difference between the two). It takes the garb of intellectual discourse mixed with a desire to recover an “African” identity. It takes delight in raising the scepter of colonialism as an excuse to discount the Christian faith, while proposing itself to be more rational and enlightened than the mere mortals that parade this land. It is a growing phenomenon amongst the youth, and while not anywhere near tipping point, is only bound to grow.
But the second front is the one that so many Ghanaian churches are seriously losing the battle to. It’s not intellectual. It’s not evidence-based. It’s not rocket-science. It’s not above any Ghanaian’s pay grade. It’s simply traditional and contemporary African religion and culture, dressed in Old Testament garb to look biblical.
Unlike orthodox Christianity, African religions have always been transactional – give to the gods, and get what you need. Or give to the fetish priest, and get what you need from his god. And because our churches are now so desperately competing against each other for numbers and influence, many have fully opened the gate to the worst impulses of transactional behaviour – abuse of power, sexual abuse, misogyny,intolerance to questioning, barefaced stealing and bribery in church, and wickedness towards one another. We have insulated ourselves from criticism on this front because as “transactionalists”, we are performing our end of the bargain to get “God’s blessings”, be it money, jobs, children, marriage or any other material variety. If there is one thing that colonial Christianity didn’t give us, it was the god of Prosperity. That is a uniquely American god, and his twin brother was always very alive in transactional African religion.
It is the above form of Christianity which I call “Ghanaianity”. It pretends to be Christianity, but there’s no Christ in it. And it doesn’t matter that it’s propounded by the founder of a church with branches in 17 countries or with only 17 church members, when a teaching is flawed, it is flawed. This form of Christianity simply assumes “Christian” things, and invests very little effort in actually teaching the “why” of it, or learning the history and theology behind these. It simply uses it as an offshoot for its own culturally acceptable teaching.
Frankly I can understand when skeptics raise questions about monogamy against Christians. That’s par for the course. What I struggle with is when Christians, including church elders and pastors, are confused about the status of monogamy in our faith and practice. I’ve experienced a lot of hostility when I even point out to many Ghanaian Christians that in contrast to Jesus, they have an almost idolatrous attachment to marriage. This un-Jesus-like worship of marriage means that we are “righteously” mistreating single people, divorcees, widows and the like, and are patting ourselves on the back for it. Given this “idolatory of the married”, you can imagine how those of queer sexuality are treated, when the 2000 year history of the church has had well documented ways of embracing such people.
Conclusion
So to those in the confused middle, a simple reminder. The Christian faith is not about what you desire, but what King Jesus desires of his subjects. And he desires devotion, a requirement which is drastically reduced if one has more than one spouse. Remember, you are not going to be judged by how many wives or children you had, but how devoted to his kingdom you were – signified not by the number of church events you attended or how much you gave to your church’s latest fancy project, but by how you gave your time and money to relieve the distress of the many whom you are surrounded with, especially to those “of the house of God” – the mere mortals sitting next to you in that pew. (Mt 25:31-46; Gal 6:7-10)
Choose you this day who will have your devotion – Jesus, or your 2nd wife.










